With Wrestlemania XIV just weeks away, the World Wrestling Federation is at a fever pitch. Currently, business is the hottest it's been since Hulkamania. From live shows to merchandise to television ratings, the Federation has once again become the darling of advertising executives across the whole damn country!!!
On paper, there's a lot ot contribute to the explosive resurhence. Immediately, you'd have to go to Stone Cold Steve Austin. Let's face it - right now the guy is the hottest commodity that this business has witnessed since the Ultimate Warrior burst upon the scene in the late 80s. Back that up with the ugly feud between the Undertaker and Kane and you've got the main ingredients to make magic. The main ingredients, but in my opinion no the MAIN INGREDIENT!!!
That spice comes in the form of two letters: DX.
Who would have ever thought that two letters would change the face of this business forever?! Who would have ever imagined that three individuals would have th eability to alter a profession that was born icons before they were?! I can hear James E. Cornette right about now: "What about Flair? What about Flair!" Hey, take nothing away from Slick Ric, he clearly had impact on the wrestling business - but he didn't change it. Shawn Michaels, Hunter Hearst-Helmsley and Chyna did. They smashed the mold - then creatively rebuilt it. In hindsight, it was a makeover that may have saved the industry.
Have you seen that Apple computer commercial? The one about the great ones who changed the course of th eworld, only to be looked upon as loudmouths, troublemakers and misfits?! Well, D-Generation X is all these things. Brash, arrogant, obnoxious, conceited, stuck up and most important - !@#$% BRILLIANT!!!
I dare anybody to match intelligence with these guys...and gal. It's just not possible. DX is a variety show, from beginning to end. Unpredictable, entertaining and !@#$% HILARIOUS!!! In my opinion, they're not far from the best thing on television right now, and as soon as Jerry's run is over - THEY WILL BE!!!
Whether you want to or not - and whether THEY want me to or not - you've got to compare them to the New World Order. On one hand, with the NWO you've got a bunch of old guys trying to act young - drawing straws to determine which idiot is going to paint his face this week to imitate another idiot who stole his gimmick from a movie. Now then, stand that next to a live game of strip poker, a tussle with a Bret Hart midget, the ol' rubber leg routine straight from the Little Rascals and kidz - the ol' men ain't got a leg to stand on (pardon the pun)!!! And that's without even mentioning a hearse full of strippers and, of course, my favorite episode - "S*CK THE COOK!!!" Meanwhile, Bret and the "Natch" are citing Shakespeare on the other channel - DX is telling the legendary William: "You're old - you're boring - nobody cares - and by the way, S*CK IT!!!"
But they wouldn't be great without their critics.
From birth DX has been spurned even by the very company they are handing ratings to on a silver platter. I even had a Titan executive ask me, "Do they have to say S*CK IT?! That's so offensive." Yeah, only problem is...PEOPLE LOVE TO BE OFFENDED!!! If they didn't, Beavis and Butthead would have been aborted before they had the chance to see the light of day!!! Weeks later, after Triple H cut a promo questioning the authenticity of RiC Flair's hair color and his manhood, the same Titan genious said to me, "That promo did not sell us one ticket!" Right again, Albert E., but DX isn't in the business of selling single tickets...THEY'RE IN THE BUSINESS OF SELLING OUT full-!@#$% ARENAS!!!
You know, the problem with people like Mr. Titan is simple - THEY JUST DON'T GET IT!!! D-Generation X is so far beyond what others perceive rasslin' "should be" that those caught in the time warp just aren't capable of grasping the concept. Let's face it, these guys - and gal...are simply ahead of their time! But hey, it's okay if you don't smell the coffee because...IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THE COOK SPILLS THE HOT JAVA IN YOUR !@#$% LAP!!!!
P.S. S*CK IT!!!