WANTED:
"Gifted" individuals (and you don't necessarily have to be an adult) who are arrogant, self-centered, obnoxious, cocky, immature and perhaps most important, ANNOYING. The elite few to be selected must be ready, willing and able to defecate on ANY rule, while spitting in the face of ANYONE, or ANYTHING, that has even the slightest hint of representing authority. It is also EXTREMELY important that the chosen care about only three things - ME, MYSELF and I!
We're DeGeneration X...You make the rules - WE'LL BREAK 'EM!
Do you meet those qualifications? I know several who do - right here in the World Wrestling Federation. No, I'm not talking about Shawn Michaels and HHH - THAT'S A GIMMIE. The leaders of the new movement known as DeGeneration X - or more simply, as their simple minds would put it, DX - wrote the book on obnoxious. Several women (with some - no, make that many - being young girls - all OVER the legal age, of course) have even told me on the QT that YES - these two guys are even annoying in their SLEEP! They`re children - immature, spoiled, self-centered infants who DARE you to tell them that they can't do something. No, they BEG you to tell them. Authority is a joke to these guys. They are simply uncontrollable - AND DAMN PROUD OF IT!
BUT... it's working. With the assistance of Chyna and Rick Rude, HBK and HHH are building perhaps the most dangerous franchise in the history of the sport. The difference between D-X and perhaps any other faction in the Federation is simple - Shawn and Hunter just may be the best in the business. Do they talk a great game? You know that they do. Do they back it up in the ring? With flying - and I mean FLYING - colors!!! It's all about talent. Those who have it will escalate to the top. Those who don't...they might as well just call a brunch with the Tidy Bowl Man! DX - they've GOT it. They've got it...and they're going with it. However, one problem may stand between them and destiny...man - or woman - power
No matter how good they are, the deck is currently stacked against them, They suffer in numbers. Sure Chyna and Hunter help, but let's face it, Chyna is a woman and Rude is physically limited. Now, wait a minute. Saying Chyna is "just" a woman isn't what it seems. What I'm saying is: Put Chyna next to a Rocky Maivia or a British Bulldog and what you have are odds leaning HEAVILY in the other direction. The same goes for the Ravishing One. In his prime, he may have been the best, but a serious back injury has disabled him - at least for the time being. If DX is going to successfully continue their pilgrimage to the top of the World Wrestling Federation, then they are going to have to recruit - and recruit FAST!
And there are some shoulders worth enlisting.
Without even shifting my brain into gear, the names Badd Ass Billy Gunn and Road Dogg simply put - RAPE ME!
These guys are the second coming of DX. The only thing separating them from Shawn and Hunter is experience. While HBK and HHH have been there and done that, Billy and "The Dog" are just getting their paws wet. So far they have been successful, BUT they still may have a long way to go before they prove their worth to the founders of DX Inc.
Here's a perfect fit. How about "Too Sexy" Brian Christopher. The King, pardon me, Prince of OBNOXIOUS. The fact is that Brian Christopher thinks more of himself than Kathie Lee does of herself. AND not only that, he doesn't have two bratty, snot-nosed kids to bring up in every other sentence, leaving him even MORE time to talk about himself than the "anti-Christ of morning talk shows!" Christopher has DX carved all over him, but again he has to prove himself. I may have picked him as "Rookie of the Year", but that's exactly what he is-a rookie.
Now here's a long shot, but SHE also very nicely fits that "shapely" role.Sunny. The "Queen of Self-Centeredness." The "Diva of Conceit." The "Honey of Holiness." What exactly would Sunny's role be? Off the bat, I would have to say "amusement." Why wouldn't Shawn and Hunter want an evil vixen attached to their hips morning, noon and night. I know I would! Damn, GLUE HER ON! But the chances of that happening for me are about as slim as Federation cub reporter Bill Banks...getting a date for the junior prom (I have to thank RAW Magazine editor-in-chief Vic Venom for that line - it was just TOOOO good to pass up)! BUT - that's off the bat. Under the surface you can't forget Sunny's managerial career. In a span of only a few months, she brought Federation gold to THREE-count 'em, THREE tag teams. Did she use all her "assets"? You know she did, but "The Fox's" biggest "single" gift may be her brain. She can manipulate, she can plot, she can...get her way. What would Chyna have to say about this new acquisition? Now, that's a horse of an ENTIRELY different color!